Escapes Not Taken

Occasionally thoughts, questions

Surface like silver bubbles rising

In water simmering for pasta…

Age 10:  why didn’t I tiptoe

From house ‘mid blizzard on

Minnesota-winter night?

Surrounding woods nearby

Could have buried me

In deep frozen silence

 Before absence noticed &

Discovery’s too-late rescue

(Condolences draping family

& whispered suspicions of

Parental inattention)…

At almost 20:  another winter

Pacific NW snows piled

‘Round college campus, so

Why not choose to lose myself?

Unmissed, mere iced white lump

When delayed report makes news…

Few years later:  considered leap from

Husband’s hellish rage-fueled truck

If not killed in escape attempt

It would have made statement

Courage failed to speak in words…

Final married year:  husband’s raging

Scene in car dealership… Manager (male)

Asked, “Do you always talk

That way in front of your wife?”

Defiant spouse replied, “Yes”

Why didn’t I take shelter

Behind stranger, beg for help?

Abuse (early, lifelong) and fear it

Implants can paralyze, freeze, entomb

Soul under unending winter… Or

Burn up self-worth, strength of will

Leave only cold, lifeless ash.

It takes supernatural shift to lift

Lead-weighted brain-fog, push

Heart forward into Freedom.

©Rhen Laird/Cobbled Contemplations, 2020 ~ All rights reserved.


6 thoughts on “Escapes Not Taken

  1. What courageous words Rhen. You capture beautifully the helplessness of children abused and taken into that circle. The phrases with the snow are particularly visual. I love you 💕 Rhen thanks for helping others my friend. It takes great courage Hugs 🤗

    Like

    1. Bless your heart, Joni–I so appreciate that you read and respond to some of the harder posts. I always wonder if they have any value–but being genuine/authentic is equally as important as sharing vibrant faith. Huge blessings to you, and much love💕💟💕

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think these post are so courageous Rhen. My art grew from my abusive childhood and I am guessing you were writhing at a young age also. Yes these are absolutely important and yours touched me so deeply. Love you 😘 Joni

        Like

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