Delusions of Safety

Prompt:  SAFETY

Other than loss, disappointment, trying times, heartache…there are no guarantees in life, surely none of “safety”.

Her ex-husband often laughed when, arriving home from anywhere, she’d utter a relieved sigh, and say, “good, we’re back at our safe apartment”.

He didn’t understand her, didn’t care to; had no least interest in asking questions to learn anything about his wife.

She’d always found the world a threatening, scary, quite unsafe place; had thought marrying him would be her refuge.

But as months passed, her romantic delusion was revealed—genuine love might be analogous to a “haven”, but he’d never loved her; and each white-hot rage added another panel in the mural of domestic danger.

One day she donned courage and left him…certain that being alone would insure safety, she locked herself inside secluded, cushioned interior world (if windows rattle it’s merely benign blithe spirits, no vengeful undead).

©Rhen Laird/Cobbled Contemplations, 2020 ~ All rights reserved.

Escapes Not Taken

Occasionally thoughts, questions

Surface like silver bubbles rising

In water simmering for pasta…

Age 10:  why didn’t I tiptoe

From house ‘mid blizzard on

Minnesota-winter night?

Surrounding woods nearby

Could have buried me

In deep frozen silence

 Before absence noticed &

Discovery’s too-late rescue

(Condolences draping family

& whispered suspicions of

Parental inattention)…

At almost 20:  another winter

Pacific NW snows piled

‘Round college campus, so

Why not choose to lose myself?

Unmissed, mere iced white lump

When delayed report makes news…

Few years later:  considered leap from

Husband’s hellish rage-fueled truck

If not killed in escape attempt

It would have made statement

Courage failed to speak in words…

Final married year:  husband’s raging

Scene in car dealership… Manager (male)

Asked, “Do you always talk

That way in front of your wife?”

Defiant spouse replied, “Yes”

Why didn’t I take shelter

Behind stranger, beg for help?

Abuse (early, lifelong) and fear it

Implants can paralyze, freeze, entomb

Soul under unending winter… Or

Burn up self-worth, strength of will

Leave only cold, lifeless ash.

It takes supernatural shift to lift

Lead-weighted brain-fog, push

Heart forward into Freedom.

©Rhen Laird/Cobbled Contemplations, 2020 ~ All rights reserved.